Sunday, 22 December 2013

IN WHICH BEAR FACES ANOTHER CHRISTMAS, YET . . .

Those of you who read my scribblings, even semi-regularly, know that my brain is messed up.  I am prone to depression, having lived with that condition for 50 years or so.

 Probably the most depressing time of year, for me, and many other depressive souls, is Christmas. It is a time of year full of cheery activity that gets to be very tiresome, very quickly! Some days my favourite Christmas expression is, "Bah! Humbug!" 

  I want to introduce you to Andrew Solomon, who explains depression far better than I could. The first five minutes of his TED video will give you an excellent understanding of depression. The rest is a very positive story about living with depression. His key comment: The opposite of depression is not happiness; it is vitality. Please, try to watch it all, perhaps after Christmas.

 Seasons greetings to all; Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating that festival.

 And, as always, blessings and Bear hugs!

Footnote

Bear has, as promised, published a new poem on his poetry blog. Please drop over for a short read.
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42 comments:

  1. Helen22 December 2013 at 14:00

    Several family members struggle with depression .. I feel helpless at times, wanting to support, not knowing quite how ... what's best. I look forward to watching Andrew's presentation ....

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    1. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 18:53

      I hope you find Andrew's comments helpful. Listening carefully sometimes provides the clues.

      Blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  2. Anonymous22 December 2013 at 17:05

    Merry Christmas to you & all those in your den!!

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    1. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 18:55

      Christmas blessings and Bear hugs, fishducky!

      Delete
  3. Jackie22 December 2013 at 17:33

    Have a Merry Christmas, Bear.
    I hope that your Christmas is filled with love and good health.
    I pray that you have a wonderful 2014. Happy New Year to you, my friend.
    Please receive a warm bear hug from me to you.
    Always,
    Jackie

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  4. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 19:00

    Christmas blessings and Bear hugs, Jackie! And I hope you have a wonderful 2014!

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  5. Janie Junebug22 December 2013 at 19:01

    I usually find Christmas depressing. I'm doing better this year. I have more loved ones in my life.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 22:13

      Glad to hear you are finding life better this year, Janie!

      Blessings and Bear hugs; Merry Christmas too!

      Delete
  6. DJan22 December 2013 at 19:23

    I will watch that Andrew Solomon video. I love TED Talks! Sending you lots of blessings and bear hugs back to you! :-)

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    1. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 19:34

      I find all kinds of wonderful information in TED talks. I hope you find this one excellent, too

      Blessings and Bear hugs; best wishes for 2014, too!

      Delete
  7. Frances22 December 2013 at 21:01

    Best wishes to you Rob-bear.
    (I will have a look at that link...but most likely my look won't take place until after Christmas. Thank you for the link.)
    xo

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  8. Rob-bear22 December 2013 at 22:15

    Thanks for the greeting, Frances. I hope New York is not being crippled by a blast of winter storm!

    Christmas blessings and Bear hugs; all the best for 2014

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  9. Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe22 December 2013 at 23:14

    I have suffered through depression and have come out the other side despite the negative atmosphere that sometimes surrounds me. I wish for you, Bear, that place in your mind where can you find joy and hope. If you do not look, you will not find. A Merry Christmas can be yours, but it is not always easy for everyone. I wish for you peace, kindness, and understanding.

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 09:46

      Wonderful to hear your news! I have been getting better, particularly over the last half year, when I have learned some new coping skills. And thanks for the encouragement, and the good wishes. Those are so important.

      Blessings and Christmas Bear hugs!

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  10. Coloring Outside the Lines23 December 2013 at 07:39

    Merry Christmas Bear- blessings to you and yours.

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 09:49

      Thanks, Terri. Blessings and Christmas Bear hugs to all of you.

      Delete
  11. ReformingGeek23 December 2013 at 07:42

    Thanks for the video. I will watch after Christmas. My dad suffered, too, and I can't imagine how hard it is.

    Bear hugs and blessings, Rob-Bear.

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 09:52

      Thank you, Reffie. Sorry to hear of your dad. About 1 in 4 suffers from some mental illness, the most common being depression.

      Blessings and Christmas Bear hugs, even to Evil Twin!

      Delete
  12. Thecurateswife23 December 2013 at 08:16

    Much love ...and bear hugs. You have been so encouraging by commenting wisely on my blog - I need to send back some of those postive hugs!
    X

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 09:59

      Thank you so much for dropping by to visit. I thoroughly enjoy your blog, having been through so many similar experiences. (Both my wife and I are clergy; both retired now.)

      I hope you and the rector@six (and the rest of your family, including the critters) have a wonderful, blessed Christmas! Bear hugs, too!

      Delete
  13. susan23 December 2013 at 09:30

    I find I've found Christmas easier to take now that I've stopped building expectations around any particular day of the year. Miracles happen often enough for those with eyes to recognize them.

    I wish you all the best now and in future, Bear.

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 10:05

      Ah, yes, susan; expectations are brutal, especially when a lot of people have them of you. Christmas used to be a "brutal" time when I was working in the Church. In retirement, things are better. And yes, there are all manner of miracles if we take time to consider. (I hinted at that in my latest poem on my poetry blog.)

      Blessings and Christmas Bear hugs! And the best, as always, to Crow.

      Delete
  14. Amanda Summer23 December 2013 at 10:44

    Wishing you and yours many blessings, sending these along with a big bear hug.

    xoxo
    Amanda

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 11:23

      Thanks, Amanda! Blessings and Bear hugs to your whole family, too!

      Delete
  15. A Lady's Life23 December 2013 at 12:28

    Bah Humbug Bear!! Every day is Christmas if you let it be one.
    This is just a special day for the purpose of celebrating a birth of a special son.
    With Christmas in your heart, life would not be so depressing.
    You would wake up each and every day with a smile on your lips
    and those endophins would just make you feel so much better.

    Have a great holiday Bear!!

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 12:49

      I once had some friends say, "Cheer up, Bear, things could be worse."
      I cheered up.
      Things got worse.

      Celebrating the birthday of a King is one thing. Discovering that the Magi were guided, not by a star, but a dollar sign in the heavens (or something like that), is quite another. Discovering that Christmas worship is simply "just another thing on the holiday list," instead of the focus of the season, is a bit un-nerving. But that doesn't stop people from wanting a Cecil B. DeMille style extravaganza; just hearing the same wonderful story again for another year, is a bit boring for folks. Or many of them. Anyhow, I can do without all that in my heart every day.

      Christmas blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  16. Kristy23 December 2013 at 14:42

    Merry Christmas to you and your family. Hope the black dog passes

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 21:18

      I hope the two of you (and your assorted critters) have a wonderful Christmas, and a 2014 without black dogs. Mine seem to come less frequently, and don't stay as long.

      Blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  17. Mary Kirkland23 December 2013 at 16:13

    Having lived with depression for more than 20 years myself, I know how hard it can be at times. I hope you can find some things to smile about this Christmas and that the next year brings you more happiness. :)

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    1. Rob-bear23 December 2013 at 21:16

      Well, Mary, things are better than last year, and the years before, so I think there is some potential for progression my case. I hope that you continue to avoid the "black dog," and have a wonderful 2014!

      Christmas Blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  18. kj24 December 2013 at 00:53

    I wish you a good day , my friend rob-bear. And then another

    I have done some kind things this holiday season; which of course shines back on me tenfold

    I hope well the difficulty of depression. I will watch the video but even without it, the word 'vitality' jumps at me

    Love
    kj

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    1. Rob-bear24 December 2013 at 12:16

      Thanks so much for the kind thoughts and words, kj. It's great to have a friend like you. I've learned some new depression-related coping skills this year; this is the best Christmas I have had in a long time.

      After all the challenges of this year, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and a delightful 2014. Bear hugs, too!

      Delete
  19. Inger24 December 2013 at 11:37

    I have lived with people with depression, but never suffered from it myself. I am grateful for this. Vitality is such a great keyword for the opposite of depression, something I never heard before, but it makes so much sense. Thank you for that and all the best for the holidays and the new year.

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    1. Rob-bear24 December 2013 at 12:23

      I'm so happy to hear that you've never had to live with depression in yourself. That's happy news.

      And isn't vitality such a wonderful word! I never thought of that either, until I heard Andrew. And it does make so much sense.

      I hope you have a wonderful season and a delightful nw year, without any crippling snow or fires.

      Blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  20. A Lady's Life24 December 2013 at 11:49

    Aw I feel so sad for you bear.I had my tree up all year and just kept changing decorations on it to celebrate every holiday.
    Life ! Is something to celebrate . Not things. Not stories not people.. but life. Life is a gift. I don't know you. Maybe you have an illness and live in pain and suffering but I do know when I speak to people born without arms and legs and even brains, they all want life. People with their dying breath, wish they had more life. Home less people love life!
    To be able to breath, to see, to feel, to understand.. all gifts because what would be the purpose of our existence ? Once a very important man in my life told me to never look at the devil or his work, because this is how he infects you. Today it is hard not to see his work. It's everywhere infecting everyone, but this is where we need good people to say NO! It is hard to say no but it must be said to make LIFE a wonderful experience for all mankind.
    Christmas is a good thing.It celebrates the birth of a good man and to know good men, to walk beside them, makes you a good man too and this is something to celebrate.
    Sometimes things get really tough and this is when you need to have a good tearful laugh and realize you are not alone. We all visit dark places at one point or another in our lives but there is always tomorrow and there is always hope and faith. Cling to that and celebrate what you do have.
    Merry Christmas Bear.

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  21. Unknown24 December 2013 at 11:54

    I struggle with depression at Christmas time too. May you have a very lovely Christmas! HUGS! ♥

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    1. Rob-bear24 December 2013 at 12:26

      Christmas is a challenging time for many of us, isn't it. I hope you have a wonderful time this Christmas, and that 2014 is a good year.

      Thanks for the hugs! Blessings and Bear hugs to you, too!!

      Delete
  22. Unknown24 December 2013 at 17:47

    I fee your pain. Christmastime is not an easy time for me either. I like this: "The opposite of depression is not happiness; it is vitality." Makes a lot of sense. I will listen to the Ted talk. Adding it to my favorites in a jiffy.

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    1. Rob-bear24 December 2013 at 20:59

      Thanks, Julia. Truth is that, so far, this is the best Christmas I have had in a long time. Hope you enjoy the TED talk.

      Christmas blessings and Bear hugs!

      Delete
  23. Magic Love Crow25 December 2013 at 17:42

    Sending you big warm hugs and many blessings ;o)

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    1. Rob-bear25 December 2013 at 18:21

      Thanks so much! Crow love is magic!

      Christmas blessings. Bear hugs, too!

      Delete
  24. Unknown3 January 2014 at 23:22

    Hey Mr. Bear, I don't know how I missed this post! But I had! I saw that TED talk a while back and thought like you it was superb. He does a great job of telling it like it is and also of instilling hope at the same time. He is right I think about vitality. This has been an uncharacteristically hard few Christmases for me for many reasons and this year doesn't seem to be easing up .... listening to this helped me through this time for sure. In and of itself its a great tool. Thanks for sharing it. Z

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